Numbness

Have you ever walk in the midst of a crowd and hear completely nothing? Total silence. So many people around you but you can't hear a thing. You're walking there amongst the busy people but you felt as if you're the only one there. In your own little world where everything is oblivious around you. The more people there are, the more lonely you feel. It must be funny cos how can you feel alone when so many people are surrounding you?

Have you ever sit in a cafe or restaurant on your own with a book? Instead of being distracted by the busy waiters walking around, you're more engrossed into the book and couldn't care less about what's happening around you. You couldn't even taste the food in front of you.

Have you ever travel in the crowded mrt or bus on your own, with earphones stuck to your ears,playing your favourite tune, soothing, sentimental and as you listened, you look out the window and everything seems like a movie. Like a background music, your own movie is directed by your own imagination with the view you see. The theme of the movie totally depends on the songs you listen to. A comedy, a sad, love movie, a depressing epic, you get to choose.

Sometimes, I think those are the best time for me to think. Rather than locking myself in my own quiet room, I rather go out and think 'quietly' among those people. I'm more focused, more into my own world then. The best thing is that when I get emotional after deep thoughts, I won't break down and cry in front of those strangers like I do in my own privacy. Everything else seems blurry. Everything else doesn't seem to matter anymore. I don't have to entertain anyone except my emotions. That may sound selfish but it's even more selfish when you let your emotions affect other people. Think about it.